insight into zuzka's life

my cousin Jane

My cousin Jane and my aunt Marta spent Christmas with us. It was really cool to have them over. I haven't seen Jane for ages!
We are both the same age and she used to come to spend a couple of weeks over summer holidays with us when we were smaller. Even though she usually showed up only once a year, she's always been part of our clique, my buddy, a sister I always wished to have.

I remember us especially during our teeny years... Going out, drinking, having fun and discovering the whole new world... Most of it under her lead, as she was the most experienced coming from the big city - London. We were causing my Mum a lot of headaches because of our rebellions. :)

I got the privilege (unlike my brothers) to sleep at my Granny's place, out of my Mum's reach, so that we could chat till late, listen to her discman or just chill and sleep almost until noon. I remember her preparing me a secret party for my 16th birthday, plotting it together with my best friend of that time. I didn't know what was going on and I was so jealous when I saw those two whispering together. I felt very left out that time... How much bigger was my surprise then!

so many memories...

It was good to have her over again.
To chat mixing English and Slovak, both of us confused about the language a bit ;) To watch movies in our "home cinema" that my younger brother prepared for us. Traveling together. Chatting and remaining silent. Then going together to see the new Bond movie Casino Royal in Bratislava and eating immense portions of pop corn. Seeing the first snow of this winter and taking pictures as it was falling down. Watching music on TV, making ourselves pretty and going for a massage in a tea room to someone who ended up to be a faith healer... simply, enjoying ourselves.

posted by zuzka @ 11:44 PM 1 comments  

Merry Christmas

aaaaaah, life seems so much better over Christmas! Things seem much easier and solutions to any problems seem to pop up as well.

The whole family together, so my life hasn't been virtual for about a week - the longest period in last at least 2 years! Try to smell freshly baked Christmas cookies, to prepare all the special Christmas meals, to decorate the Christmas tree or to gradually create the whole family Christmas atmosphere... none of these are possible online!
Real life rocks ;)

We are sharing how our year has been, enjoying each other's company and even my aunt & cousin Jane came to spend Christmas with us! A lot of catching up is going on. We are visiting all the good places with a lot of memories from childhood and pointing out all the changes that occurred in our town since all of us have been home last time. It feels really really good.
I am simply happy.

My life has got better lately, especially compared to the pre-Christmas exam period full of stress. Never ever 6 exams in 9 days again! I was literally going nuts. So, a big sorry to everyone I managed to annoy during that time as I was just whining around. I put too many things on my plate. Thank you for your support, my dear people... It came in the right time. ;)

Late, but still:

posted by zuzka @ 1:30 AM 0 comments  

the end of one big dream

i just got the message that the air company we booked our tickets to Colombia with got bankrupt.

the end of my Colombian dream
no use of all the hassle to finish my exams early
no point in sleepless nights trying to joggle with everything so that it fits

big big big disappointment and frustration...
It was just a dream, something I have been looking forward to, something that kept me going through the madness of last couple of weeks.

yep, but that's survivable. No big damage except of the financial loss.

More serious concerns:
How and when do we get Sami safely home?
or at least to Europe?

any other bad news, anyone?
it's better to get everything at once...

posted by zuzka @ 3:36 PM 13 comments  

pre-christmas study weekend

pre-Christmas study weekend... currently on a study break. Uff.
Many new things about developing countries should now be in my head. "Should" is the key word! It'll be tested tomorrow if it really is so...

thinking: 2 exams tomorrow
believe in: amazing capacity of our brains to absorb, learn and be ready to spit out knowledge on request as well as finding the right links between facts
discovered: i learn the best through movies, www.youtube.com rocks! And this dude is really good in explaining the World Bank issues regardless if you agree with his opinions or not.
lacking: discipline and endurance
wishing: luck!
looking forward to: wonderful evening plans for Friday night ;) and then 10 days of proper Christmas... yey!

for those who are already on Christmas holidays: enjoy!
for those who are still fighting: we'll be there soon, time is working for us ;)

posted by zuzka @ 10:00 PM 0 comments  

about luck (Match Point)

i just came back from an unplanned cinema trip. With some people, we went to see the Match Point, the newest Woody Allen. Quite "Dostoevsky type" movie about complicated relations in one upper class British family including an Irish and an American... you can easily google the story.

What it shows really well is the role of luck and coincidence in our life. There are so many things we can't have under control that can give an unexpected twist to our lives...
That's what I see making my life interesting - the partial unpredictability of when a curve on the journey comes and what is behind it.

I loved the last scene of the movie - a toast to a new born baby being brought home for the first time:

Therefore to everyone who needs it at the moment (hint: exams):

posted by zuzka @ 12:01 AM 0 comments  

a little moral victory... but really?

I had my last two presentations for this semester today. One of them was my long-time prepared Lebanon multi-media show for my "favourite" uni assistant, Mr. Middle East & Developing Countries. He liked it and even said it was really good. Yep, it did make me feel good. My little moral victory.

But did he actually get the point?
Did he just see a well-managed presentation by someone who is not scared to speak in public and can manage a computer? Or did the right kind of "aha moment" come?

I wonder if he now understands that there are people who care and who have higher expectations from their university than just getting a piece of paper at the end. And who are ready to go that extra mile to get something out of it for themselves and the others. I wanted to show him that we do exist. And that female students can also treat computers. ;)
How will I know if I succeeded for future generations?

Might seem selfish, but I need to see the result. It all started with a wrong motivation - my ego and wanting to gain respect as well as "show that bastard". While presenting, I stopped caring about getting his respect as a person. I'd like to know if he saw me as a representative of the young enthusiastic ones who care.

Today, I was discussing our educational system, especially our faculty with the people in my class. First, everyone was complaining about things that don't work. I asked what we actually did in our last 5 years in order to change it. They admitted that nothing. Well, I tried... and got punished. But I didn't stop caring and, the most important, i will not stop trying. Even though I am only one semester away from getting my diploma. And I can get punished again.

Lately, I can't deal with the apathy of people I see sitting next to me during my classes. We are academically studying global issues, we have the most information about what's going on.
If we, the ones who are in theory the most prepared, don't care, how can we expect others to do so?
If we don't do anything, who else will?


***
I made 2 observations:
1. I blog too much about my uni business... that's what keeps me busy at the moment...

2. Little of things that really matter on my blog. I got very superficial, ego-centric and self-pitying. Scary? Paranoid? True? Or is it just that all my energy is these days rather spent on getting things into my head to be able to spit them out at the exam?
I live in my own little world for the moment. I am waiting to survive till Christmas to get out of it.

only 10 more days... yey!

posted by zuzka @ 6:16 PM 0 comments  

special skill - melting mobiles

results of the day:

• 2 out of my 11 pre-Christmas Uni tasks done
• 1 mobile melted

The story goes like this:

facts:
i have a mobile phone (yeah, like just about everyone around here)
and i have a lamp with quite a strong bulb on my window sill
... starting to get the picture? ;)

situation:
6:00 am
the mobile rings and tries to wake me up for my 7:30 class
i am applying the "5 more minutes" concept
then i get up and switch on the light - the lamp on the window sill - turn it away from my face and leave to take a shower

6:20am
coming back to my room, I see my mobile phone just under the bulb
panic thought: "oh, oooooh, that thing gets usually quite warm.."
I go, check... and yes, there it is, my favourite mobile of all times melting in front of my eyes
aaaaaaaah!

trying to rescue it and letting it cool down
having this little hope that it might still work...
and it didn't let me down, my blue baby - it works!
Well, everything seems to work except of the most important thing for being able to control it - the ok button.
okeeeey... hm.

So, after I come back from the uni, I am ready for a little experiment...
I am putting my dearest gadget under that lamp again - this time on purpose
And I letting it melt...
and voila, after a bit, it's soft again so now I can actually free that important button.

Letting the blue baby cool down again - for the second time today
Nervously expecting the second of truth
"...will work or won't work?"
and, tadaaaa
it does.
it's just a bit rumpled, but fine... it seems like it doesn't want to go to the mobile heaven yet, uff!

* the (happy) end *

posted by zuzka @ 1:53 AM 3 comments  

... what a day!

• getting up
• studying international commercial law
• sitting in a "developing countries" lecture with my "beloved" assistant and getting more details on the exam (... at least that)
• writing a test of international commercial law (results tomorrow...)
• rushing home to not miss a chat
• the person doesn't show up
• meanwhile, i receive WeGrow (can't open) info and EuroCo stuff (got shocked)
• sorting out EuroCo (why do simple thing get so complicated?)
• skyping with the person who was supposed to show up earlier (yay! making travel plans ;))
• i needed to get out - i went for a jog along the channel and around the lake (what a wonderful feeling! - ready to continue the day)
• good news from Italy and a skype call with Cisco
• WENA LDS revival (what a good virtual meeting, thanks! ... and no break downs of my internet connection!)
• getting an e-mail requesting more WENA Board work (why now?)
• some more EuroCo sorting out
• WENA LDS follow-up
• blogging

thinking: a colloquium and a test tomorrow & conference finance
doing: (almost) opening my EU book

posted by zuzka @ 8:38 PM 0 comments  

did you know that...?

... the EU has as a part of the Lisbon Strategy a goal to support the entrepreneurial spirit of European youth?
And that it considers it as one of the area of highest priority?
And allocated considerable resources for activities in this area?

... the second largest guerrilla group of Colobia, left-wing Castro-inspired National Liberation Army (ELN) refused to get involved in the drug business out of principle and therefore still is the only armed group not financing itself with narco-dollars?

rrrrrrrrandom, but interesting...
study study study study study

posted by zuzka @ 9:32 PM 0 comments  

jogging & more

Not such a long time ago, Majken told me, that the best way how to get to know a new city if you don't have too much time is actually to go jogging. I can't agree more. Sooo, today I went to explore Petrzalka, the part of Bratislava where I live in.

I found a river, well, an arm of the Danube river called "Croatian Arm" (don't ask me why - I really have no clue). It reminded me of the Aare river I used to jog along while I was living in Berne, Switzerland. And as jogging is the best time to think, I let my body being occupied and my brain wandering off...
Do you also know that wonderful feeling of complete freedom and randomness? ;)

After some time, I even found a little lake called "Drazdiak", a home of a few swans, some other water birds and I even saw someone swimming in it today.

And memories started to come...

I realized two things:
First, my best memories are always somehow connected with water and/or jogging...
...like the lake of Neuchatel, Switzerland, where we met with Sami, talked the whole day through and got terribly sun-burned
...and then the beautiful lake of Geneva, Switzerland, especially watching the fireworks of Fetes de Geneve
...or the little lake in Les Houches, French Alps, I used to jog around during my super-sporty-&-discover-the-Alps summer 2004
...not forgetting to mention the Aare river where we would just randomly jump in to get refreshed and spend evenings jogging in a kind of idyllic life style over the last summer

The second thing is, that I either go jogging alone or only with people I really care about, no strangers allowed!
My today solo mission showed me how much I miss you, my lovely people!
And also, that there are some things that can't be done virtually. Living most of my life over internet, from collecting study materials, through chatting to my family& friends, working, trying to steal some time with the person dearest to my heart and finally putting down my thoughts on a blog, makes me feel lonely. Very lonely.

Let's get occupied then! My body got its portion for today, my mind is refreshed, found the way back go my head and is hopefully ready to get back to the books. It's all about surviving until Christmas...

posted by zuzka @ 8:56 PM 3 comments  

... about uni assistants

imagine, he is:

• quite young, traveled around and got to know the world
• brave/naive enough to start an academic career in Slovakia (!) and especially in my university (!!) not mentioning my faculty (!!!)
• one of the very few knowledgeable teachers I had during my uni career
• as well one of the few ones who can actually formulate his ideas in a way that is appropriate the academic soil
• able to start and manage a discussion related to the subject of his class

Sounds cool, huh?
but...
he is the most arrogant person on the whole planet when it comes to treating his female students!!!

Sooo, dear Mr. Developing Countries & Middle East Classes Macho, do accept that there are girls on this planet, who:

• can work with a ppt
• do know how to treat a laptop and a beamer, even in a combination and go as far as knowing how to connect them together and beam on a wall (and let yourself be shocked when they even use some music with their presentation - wait for next week!)
• do not want to only witlessly copy their seminar papers from internet or some books but prefer to write them on their own because they are interested in the topic
• do care about what they study and actually want to learn

As a Christmas present to all of us, do learn how to respect us, bastard!!!
girls from your classes

posted by zuzka @ 9:55 PM 4 comments  

intellectual slap of DO-IT 2006

UNFPA workshop about HIV/AIDS:

"You can't expect responsibility, responsible actions from people without future. Therefore, it's our common quest to make future possible for all of us."

Addition after my class on developing countries:
We watched a video of a guy called Ross Kemp. He's basically traveling all around the world to meet all kinds of gangs and understand why they were established. And shoots short documentary movies about it. We saw the episode from the favelas of Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.

To my big surprise, a big and interesting discussion with my normally apathetic class mates appeared. Discussing the motivation of those young teenies to join gangs at the age of 14 having 80% probability that they won't live up to their 21st birthday, seeing no perspective for better life in peace together with their families... it all just reinforced the thought from DO-IT.

Responsibility comes naturally only with having a perspective for some kind of future...
Only then we are motivated for an action with a positive result.

Or is it really so?
What if we are on the other side of the scale - being these little spoiled kids of rich parents whose future looks too bright? How are we then motivated and prepared to take actions that should bring something good to the whole community we are living in? Are we brought up with that sense of responsibility?

posted by zuzka @ 8:12 PM 3 comments  

DID-IT & more

...it was a great weekend. I went home - to one of my homes.
(home = locations and people I care about & I feel I belong to)

I went to DO-IT 2006. And I proudly:

• didn't manage to have a badge
• didn't have a clue about the agenda or timing of the conference
  (somehow I was constantly receiving questions about what the next session is and where... I wonder why ;) )
• almost resisted the temptation to collect delegates when the sessions were starting
• helped out a little bit in only one session
  (WENA opportunities stand - that almost doesn't count!)
• joined only two workshops to learn more about HIV/AIDS and energy
• tested Fiesch Feriendorf sauna
  
• partied hard
  (it was dangerous having Peter behind the bar serving drinks...)
• missed the Morning Plenary for the first time...
  (it needed to come once!)

Highlights of last 3 days:

• got to meet 2/3 of my WENA Board people!
  Ah, was great to hang out with you, Hinnerk & Majken. Mairiiiii, got your message, thanks!
  

• had fun with my Geneva chicks ;)

• officially became an OB and a founding member of the PC (top secret!)
  Thanks Fabo & Peter for all the fun - it was a blaaaast!
  

• enjoyed sauna and having enough time to actually finish a conversation without being called away ;)

• dancing with Steto who was being picked on approximately every 5 minutes by another person: "... she is a married woman!"
  Stefano, thanks for a great dance!

• spending Sunday evening at Ruth & Kolja's, sharing news & pictures, chatting, eating the best Kuerbissuppe and waffels
  Ruth, Kolja, thank you for spoiling me at your place... it always feels like coming home!

That was the last fun before my exams. It (hopefully) gave me enough energy and mental power to enter the exam period.

Books, get ready to be read, hehe!!! It's the end of your holidays.
Memory, get ready to be stretched and filled in with hmmm.... all kinds of bullshit I need to get into my head in order to successfully finish my one-before-last Uni semester.
It's getting serious here...

Study time starts NOW.

PS: Sami was at DO-IT as well!

posted by zuzka @ 6:26 PM 2 comments